Today is November 21st, which was our due date for our first pregnancy. I wrote a letter to our little angel baby and wanted to share it with everyone. In case you, or someone you know, is going through miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss, etc. I am posting this in hopes that I could be of help to someone going through this emotional experience.
My little angel baby,
I didn’t want to write this, but I feel if I don’t publicly acknowledge it, it’s as if I’m not acknowledging you. You existed. You were and are a part of me. Part of us. Your daddy and I planned for you, prayed for you, and loved you. We dreamt of all the things we would do together, the memories we’d create, and the person we would raise you to be. I knew I wanted you to love God, love your family and always love yourself. I didn’t get to find out if you are a boy or girl, but I didn’t care. I just wanted you, whatever you were and whatever obstacles life may bring.
And then we lost you. You went to heaven far too soon. I don’t know why and I don’t like it, but I’m accepting it. I’m doing better, at least somedays; but now, here we are. We would have met you this week. We would have held you in our arms, kissed you a million times, and brought you home. But we didn’t get to do that. We won’t get to do that with you. And there’s no amount of time that will make that fair or okay. But it is. It’s our reality. Instead of taking care of you and watching you grow, you get to do that for us.
Please know that we love you. We will always love you. I think about you every day, so many times a day. I will never forget you or stop wanting you. You will always be my first baby and I can’t wait to meet you one day. Until then, I will do my very best to make you proud.
Please give Jesus a kiss for me. And tell Granny and Grandpa I love them.
That’s all for today. Thanks for reading.