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Some Whining

November 10, 2015 2 Comments

Some Whining

November 10, 2015 2 Comments

I’ve been playing around with the idea of writing about a certain topic for about a week now, but I kept hearing so many stories of bigger things going on in other people’s lives that made it seem so trivial. And it may be. Regardless, this is something I know affects us all, so here goes.

My last blog was about how I was okay with having Crouzons, and happy with myself, which is mostly true. But, there are obviously things I struggle with when it comes to my appearance. I’ve come to terms with most of my insecurities and deal with them as best I can. Until about 9 months ago.

After I found out I was pregnant the first time, my skin and body started changing – obviously. That’s what happens when you’re pregnant. The frustrating part is that due to the unfortunate circumstances, I ended up having a D&C instead of a baby, so I didn’t have a “consolation” for my new insecurity. After the first miscarriage, I decided I wanted to get healthier, so I started eating a little better, drinking more water, and doing yoga. It really helped and I noticed a difference in my body. Then I became pregnant again, which is when it all went downhill. I look back at pictures of myself from a year or so ago and I just don’t feel as good about my outer appearance. I’ve never had issues with my body or my skin, so this is uncharted territory for me. I have been trying to get the motivation that I had back in the summer, but it’s a lot harder this time around.

I’ve started selling Younique, which is a makeup brand, and the products contain ingredients that are much better for your skin. So, over the past week or so I’ve seen some improvement in that area, but not a lot. That’s also brought up a lot of other issues, as I try to show off the new makeup by taking pictures of myself to share with others, I grow more and more frustrated with how I look. So I just don’t feel good. I feel bratty even writing about this, but it’s the truth, and I want to be honest and share another perspective on miscarriage. Not only do you feel defeated emotionally, your self-confidence takes a beating. At least it has for me.

I cling to the fact that God created me to look exactly how I do and try to rest in the fact that He thinks I’m beautiful even when I don’t feel that way. I also am blessed to have a husband that encourages me and tells me I’m beautiful. But, I’m still working on convincing myself.

That’s all for now. Thanks for bearing with me as I whine about such vain problems.

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2 Comments

  • Lauren November 10, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    Michelle, it breaks my heart to hear about others who struggle with body image and their appearance. It is rough to remember that you are beautiful just the way God made you, and this is something I personally struggle with on a daily basis every time I look in the mirror. Just want you to know that you’re not alone. Find encouragement in the fact that statistically we are our own worst critic, even though we tear ourselves up about the way we look, we are beautifully and wonderfully made.

    • Michelle November 11, 2015 at 1:54 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment, it means a lot! It definitely helps to know that this is just an earthly struggle that we are faced with, and most days I find comfort in the fact that God created us to look exactly how we do, and he finds us absolutely beautiful. It’s just so hard sometimes, especially for women, as we compare ourselves to other people and are constantly shown what “beauty” looks like according to the rest of the world. In case you haven’t heard it today, you are beautiful! Inside and out. Thanks again 🙂

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