The Secret is (Almost) Out

Keeping secrets, especially life-changing ones, has never been something I do well with. In fact, up until this *event*, I don’t know that I’ve ever had to keep a secret this long in my entire life. So these last two weeks have been challenging and to make it easier, I’ve been kind of a recluse.

I’m We’re pregnant! I found out just over two weeks ago, on March 10th (Kevin and I’s 4th anniversary of dating). I had started having cramps and nausea the week before, but just thought it was my period approaching. In the last few months my cycle has been very irregular, so the only way I knew it was coming was by the symptoms that came along with it, namely: cramps. We’ve been trying to conceive basically since we got married and with all of my irregular periods, I had just assumed that it was going to take some time for us. The cramping the night of the 9th was different. It didn’t feel like regular period cramps, and the nausea didn’t seem the same either. That morning, I decided I’d go ahead and take a test, but told myself (and my dog, Dusty) that it would be negative to avoid getting my hopes up. I didn’t even know if I had any left, but I ended up using the last one. I did my thing and sat the test down next to the bath tub so that I could wait on the result while I took my morning bath. I glanced at it after I sat it down and saw that two lines were showing up. I told myself that they would go away, that it wasn’t for real. After the three minutes were up, I checked it, and saw that the lines were still there. And they were bold. I immediately called my mom and told her that I had taken a test and that it was showing TWO LINES, but that I thought it was false. She suggested that I go pick up another test, so I ran to the store and bought a pack of the expensive digital ones with the weeks predictor. Obviously, that test was positive too, and estimated that I was about 3-4 weeks. I tested again a few days later and that shot up to 4-5 weeks, so my estimation at this point is that I’m about 7-8 weeks.

Since that day, the symptoms have taken on a new life. I have always dreamt of being pregnant (is that normal?). Not just of having a baby, but of actually being pregnant. I looked forward to having the bump, growing that little miracle in my belly, feeling it kick and move around, talking to the baby and promising it a life full of love. And it is such a special feeling, knowing that in just about 7 months, I will be a mother, Kevin will be a father, and together we will be parents. We are so thrilled and feel so blessed.

But, with all of that being said, I never knew what to expect as far as symptoms were concerned. I have watched pregnancy vlogs on YouTube, seen it on movies and TV shows, Googled what to expect, etc, but I don’t think you’re ever fully prepared for what this miraculous event will change about your body and how you feel. I am bloated, crampy and emotional. I can smell things in ways I haven’t ever experienced before. Since Sunday, I have this overwhelming nausea that is unlike any hangover, food poisoning, or stomach bug I have ever had, because even after you throw up, IT IS STILL THERE. The part of this I hadn’t really considered before being pregnant: there is no swigging Pepto Bismol or popping Ibruprofen. You just have to suck it up, find some natural remedies, and remember that it’s all for a greater purpose. Which I’m doing. I remind myself of that so many times every day.

Tomorrow is the first prenatal appointment, and we are so thrilled and ready to get some tangible evidence of our little baby. I can’t wait to get an official estimated delivery date, hear the heartbeat, see the baby, and ask my OBGYN about a million questions. I will keep you updated!

To all of my family & friends out there: SURPRISE! To any of you going through the journey of pregnancy right now: keep your eyes on the prize, ladies.

*From March 26th*

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